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When I first met Doug on Match. He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit. On our first date, although we only kissed, he told me I wouldn't be the same when he was done with me. I knew he was right—I just didn't know what it meant.

Neither of us did. Doug was tall with dark hair and eyes, but it wasn't his looks that unglued me. A recent business school graduate, he was smart, confident, and witty. We'd talk for hours about politics and sports, and though he commented on how amazing our chemistry was, how amazing I was, he held back emotionally. He had it, always. We dated for a few months and had intense—if, in retrospect, vanilla—sex. There was a magnetic pull between us, only the attraction swallowed me.

I became uncharacteristically needy, and it pushed him away. Months went by after we'd broken up, but I couldn't get Doug out of my head. I began having fantasies about him like I'd never had about anyone. I wanted him to overpower me. I'd heard about BDSM—bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism—but didn't know much about it.

Curious about my new feelings, I did some research online. One site showed women being bound and whipped. Another showed a girl on the floor with a man standing over her asking who she belonged to. It all turned me on, but I felt confused. Wasn't it weird that I, a proud feminist, could enjoy something so degrading?

I would never stay with a man who hurt me. So how could I enjoy this? Still, Being The Submissive In A Relationship kept exploring. In a few clicks on another popular site, I found Doug's profile. I was initially shocked, and yet it made perfect sense. That was our connection. At first, we casually texted, catching up on each other's Being The Submissive In A Relationship.

He'd finished an Ironman triathlon, and I'd started working on a business plan to venture out on my own. Our shared interest in BDSM came up slowly, in e-mails and on the phone.

He'd joke about making me scream, and I'd say, confidently, "Bring it. I learned that BDSM is about more than rough sex. While a Dominant, or "Dom," may have the "power," he can only go as far as his submissive, or "sub," will let him.

It's not abuse; it's consensual. Doug would text, "How do you feel about a belt? Could you trust me to do anything to you? We settled on opposite sofas, and I was a fidgety, nervous mess.

What if I didn't like the pain as much as the idea of it? Then Doug stood up, towering over me, and grabbed a fistful of my hair. He ordered me to perform oral sex, but that first time wasn't really about sex, it was about seeing if I'd be obedient. He used a belt, leaving welts on my back, thighs, and bottom. I could hear him pacing behind me, but I never knew when the lick of leather was coming.

It hurt like hell, but I was utterly turned on. I had no control. And I loved it. Afterward, I cried, overwhelmed by how raw it all was. We met up a couple more times for similar sessions, but then I pulled away. I was freaked out. Not by the pain, but by how intense my feelings were for him. Nearly Top Lesbian Romance Movies years passed before I saw him again.

We had both gotten married, gotten on with our lives. My husband and I renovated our house. I traveled to India and Australia with friends. And my business boomed. Meanwhile, I tried to suppress this thing between Doug and me. When Doug texted that he was moving to Boston for a big promotion, I agreed to meet him for a drink. I told my husband, with whom I share a very honest relationship, that I was going to see an ex for closure.

But as soon as Doug and I laid eyes on each other, that dark connection was still there. He walked me to my car, and we kissed. Then he told me to take off my pants. We were right back in it. He left for Boston with his wife the next morning. A sub is willing to go to a place many people do not, or cannot, go. With miles between us, we're in contact over e-mail, text, and Skype. Because BDSM is about so much more than just sex, Doug can still be my Dom from afar, focusing more on psychological control.

I'll text that I'm going for a run, and he'll tell me I can't. Over Skype, he'll watch Being The Submissive In A Relationship get close to orgasm and make me stop. Or he won't speak to me because, with the distance, it's one of the only ways I can feel the sting of his decision.

We know what we're doing isn't fair to our spouses, but fortunately for me, I'm able to be honest with my husband about Doug. We went through counseling a few years ago and agreed to have an open marriage. I love my husband—and I love having sex with him, but in an entirely different way.

Doug is my dark and my husband is my light. For Doug, it's not that easy. His wife has no idea about this side of him. Recently, I flew to Boston for a long weekend when Doug's wife was out of town. He arrived at my hotel and made me sit on my knees while he spanked me with his belt. Even though we have a safe word, I've never used it. A Dom is intoxicated by someone who is willing to trust him or her that much.

A sub is intoxicated by the surrender—and not because he or she is weak. The physical pain is just a small part of it. And surviving it, enduring it, is a feat. I know it's weird, but I feel like if I can do that, I can do anything. I didn't tell any of my friends about Doug for My Boyfriend Still Talks To His Ex four years. I just didn't want to be judged. Eventually, I started revealing details when we'd talk about our sex lives.

They couldn't believe that I liked being bossed around, that I allowed a man to hit me. I explained that in his normal life, Doug would never hurt a woman. He even donates to a battered-women's shelter! One day at lunch I showed my best friend some texts from Doug. She got really upset by the controlling things he wrote, like telling me what to wear to work.

And when I revealed that he had a wife, she was totally disgusted. We'd been friends for 18 years and she had been my maid of honor, but we haven't talked in nearly a year. Sometimes I feel like I'm someone's dirty little secret. Doug is now a full-on conservative businessman. He lives in a huge house in a fancy Boston suburb; he plays golf, flies planes, runs marathons. As embarrassing as it is to admit, he's a lot like Christian Grey.

And he has the perfect Stepford-looking wife. But the truth is, I feel bad for him. I couldn't imagine leading a double life like he does.

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11 Jul A submissive woman does not belong in an abusive relationship. If your relationship is abusive, the only way is out. Someone who is abusive will abuse your submissive role. A man who is simply dominant will not. Submission is about voluntary grace and being of service to a man who will protect you.

11 Jul A submissive woman does not belong in an abusive relationship. If your relationship is abusive, the only way is out. Someone who is abusive will abuse your submissive role. A man who is simply dominant will not. Submission is about voluntary grace and being of service to a man who will protect you. 8 Nov The submissive never knows 'exactly' what her Dom is going to do and the slight fear of the unknown can be erotic. That being said, she should always know that she is safe and won't be pushed outside her limits physically, mentally or emotionally. If this happens and she immediately wants it to stop, she. 24 May There are a lot of misconceptions about being sexually submissive. We talk to some subs - and one dom - about their relationships.

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9 Feb The word submissive is defined as: ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive. Wow, what woman wants to be described in this regard especially in the context of a relationship? I definitely don't. I don't know many who would. If I were talking about being submissive by this. 18 Jun Submissive to a man? What's your reaction to that question? Now that you've mentally answered, do you think that only one partner should be submissive in a relationship – straight or gay? Do you think that men and women should submit to each other? Submissive means being obedient, passive. 3 Aug When I first met Doug on sexshop-iasi.info in , we were 26 and living in Washington, D.C., both recently out of serious relationships, both working long hours at jobs we loved. He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit. On our first date, although we.

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3 Aug When I first met Doug on sexshop-iasi.info in , we were 26 and living in Washington, D.C., both recently out of serious relationships, both working long hours at jobs we loved. He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit. On our first date, although we. 9 Feb The word submissive is defined as: ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive. Wow, what woman wants to be described in this regard especially in the context of a relationship? I definitely don't. I don't know many who would. If I were talking about being submissive by this. 24 May There are a lot of misconceptions about being sexually submissive. We talk to some subs - and one dom - about their relationships.

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24 May There are a lot of misconceptions about being sexually submissive. We talk to some subs - and one dom - about their relationships. 3 Aug When I first met Doug on sexshop-iasi.info in , we were 26 and living in Washington, D.C., both recently out of serious relationships, both working long hours at jobs we loved. He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit. On our first date, although we. 13 Mar Being submissive to a man is not about that at all. I'm also not encouraging women to be submissive all the time – being submissive is just another role than a woman can take up every now and then in her relationship. The reason I'm talking about being submissive is because it can bring more passion.

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11 Jul A submissive woman does not belong in an abusive relationship. If your relationship is abusive, the only way is out. Someone who is abusive will abuse your submissive role. A man who is simply dominant will not. Submission is about voluntary grace and being of service to a man who will protect you. 24 May There are a lot of misconceptions about being sexually submissive. We talk to some subs - and one dom - about their relationships. If somebody identifies as being into D/s, or having a D/s relationship, then they probably include power play in their sex life, and perhaps in other aspects of their relationship. People can identify as dominant, submissive, or switch (which means that they are sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive). It might be that.

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5 Jul Being a submissive in your relationship can be misunderstood and many people that only know me away from my husband are often surprised to learn that that he is the dominant one. This seems odd to me since, for me, it feels natural, like it's just the way of things. I have what has been described as an. 13 Mar Being submissive to a man is not about that at all. I'm also not encouraging women to be submissive all the time – being submissive is just another role than a woman can take up every now and then in her relationship. The reason I'm talking about being submissive is because it can bring more passion. 11 Jul A submissive woman does not belong in an abusive relationship. If your relationship is abusive, the only way is out. Someone who is abusive will abuse your submissive role. A man who is simply dominant will not. Submission is about voluntary grace and being of service to a man who will protect you.

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18 Jun Submissive to a man? What's your reaction to that question? Now that you've mentally answered, do you think that only one partner should be submissive in a relationship – straight or gay? Do you think that men and women should submit to each other? Submissive means being obedient, passive. 5 Jul Being a submissive in your relationship can be misunderstood and many people that only know me away from my husband are often surprised to learn that that he is the dominant one. This seems odd to me since, for me, it feels natural, like it's just the way of things. I have what has been described as an. 9 Feb The word submissive is defined as: ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive. Wow, what woman wants to be described in this regard especially in the context of a relationship? I definitely don't. I don't know many who would. If I were talking about being submissive by this.

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5 Jul Being a submissive in your relationship can be misunderstood and many people that only know me away from my husband are often surprised to learn that that he is the dominant one. This seems odd to me since, for me, it feels natural, like it's just the way of things. I have what has been described as an. 8 Nov The submissive never knows 'exactly' what her Dom is going to do and the slight fear of the unknown can be erotic. That being said, she should always know that she is safe and won't be pushed outside her limits physically, mentally or emotionally. If this happens and she immediately wants it to stop, she. 3 Aug When I first met Doug on sexshop-iasi.info in , we were 26 and living in Washington, D.C., both recently out of serious relationships, both working long hours at jobs we loved. He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit. On our first date, although we.

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18 Jan BDSM has a taboo reputation. But, being submissive in a relationship actually helps couples form a deeper connection. Here's why you should try it. 3 Aug When I first met Doug on sexshop-iasi.info in , we were 26 and living in Washington, D.C., both recently out of serious relationships, both working long hours at jobs we loved. He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit. On our first date, although we. If somebody identifies as being into D/s, or having a D/s relationship, then they probably include power play in their sex life, and perhaps in other aspects of their relationship. People can identify as dominant, submissive, or switch (which means that they are sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive). It might be that.

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5 Jul Being a submissive in your relationship can be misunderstood and many people that only know me away from my husband are often surprised to learn that that he is the dominant one. This seems odd to me since, for me, it feels natural, like it's just the way of things. I have what has been described as an. 8 Nov The submissive never knows 'exactly' what her Dom is going to do and the slight fear of the unknown can be erotic. That being said, she should always know that she is safe and won't be pushed outside her limits physically, mentally or emotionally. If this happens and she immediately wants it to stop, she. 9 Feb The word submissive is defined as: ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive. Wow, what woman wants to be described in this regard especially in the context of a relationship? I definitely don't. I don't know many who would. If I were talking about being submissive by this.

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24 May There are a lot of misconceptions about being sexually submissive. We talk to some subs - and one dom - about their relationships. 8 Nov The submissive never knows 'exactly' what her Dom is going to do and the slight fear of the unknown can be erotic. That being said, she should always know that she is safe and won't be pushed outside her limits physically, mentally or emotionally. If this happens and she immediately wants it to stop, she.

  • 1 8 Nov The submissive never knows 'exactly' what her Dom is going to do and the slight fear of the unknown can be erotic. That being said, she should always know that she is safe and won't be pushed outside her limits physically, mentally or emotionally. If this happens and she immediately wants it to stop, she. 9 Feb The word submissive is defined as: ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive. Wow, what woman wants to be described in this regard especially in the context of a relationship? I definitely don't. I don't know many who would. If I were talking about being submissive by this.
  • 2 11 Jul A submissive woman does not belong in an abusive relationship. If your relationship is abusive, the only way is out. Someone who is abusive will abuse your submissive role. A man who is simply dominant will not. Submission is about voluntary grace and being of service to a man who will protect you. 18 Jun Submissive to a man? What's your reaction to that question? Now that you've mentally answered, do you think that only one partner should be submissive in a relationship – straight or gay? Do you think that men and women should submit to each other? Submissive means being obedient, passive.
  • 3 11 Jul A submissive woman does not belong in an abusive relationship. If your relationship is abusive, the only way is out. Someone who is abusive will abuse your submissive role. A man who is simply dominant will not. Submission is about voluntary grace and being of service to a man who will protect you. 18 Jun Submissive to a man? What's your reaction to that question? Now that you've mentally answered, do you think that only one partner should be submissive in a relationship – straight or gay? Do you think that men and women should submit to each other? Submissive means being obedient, passive.
  • 4 8 Nov The submissive never knows 'exactly' what her Dom is going to do and the slight fear of the unknown can be erotic. That being said, she should always know that she is safe and won't be pushed outside her limits physically, mentally or emotionally. If this happens and she immediately wants it to stop, she. 3 Aug When I first met Doug on sexshop-iasi.info in , we were 26 and living in Washington, D.C., both recently out of serious relationships, both working long hours at jobs we loved. He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit. On our first date, although we.
  • 5 9 Feb The word submissive is defined as: ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive. Wow, what woman wants to be described in this regard especially in the context of a relationship? I definitely don't. I don't know many who would. If I were talking about being submissive by this. If somebody identifies as being into D/s, or having a D/s relationship, then they probably include power play in their sex life, and perhaps in other aspects of their relationship. People can identify as dominant, submissive, or switch (which means that they are sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive). It might be that.
  • 6 9 Feb The word submissive is defined as: ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive. Wow, what woman wants to be described in this regard especially in the context of a relationship? I definitely don't. I don't know many who would. If I were talking about being submissive by this. 8 Nov The submissive never knows 'exactly' what her Dom is going to do and the slight fear of the unknown can be erotic. That being said, she should always know that she is safe and won't be pushed outside her limits physically, mentally or emotionally. If this happens and she immediately wants it to stop, she.
  • 7 3 Aug When I first met Doug on sexshop-iasi.info in , we were 26 and living in Washington, D.C., both recently out of serious relationships, both working long hours at jobs we loved. He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit. On our first date, although we. 5 Jul Being a submissive in your relationship can be misunderstood and many people that only know me away from my husband are often surprised to learn that that he is the dominant one. This seems odd to me since, for me, it feels natural, like it's just the way of things. I have what has been described as an.
  • 8 13 Mar Being submissive to a man is not about that at all. I'm also not encouraging women to be submissive all the time – being submissive is just another role than a woman can take up every now and then in her relationship. The reason I'm talking about being submissive is because it can bring more passion. If somebody identifies as being into D/s, or having a D/s relationship, then they probably include power play in their sex life, and perhaps in other aspects of their relationship. People can identify as dominant, submissive, or switch (which means that they are sometimes dominant and sometimes submissive). It might be that.
  • 9 13 Mar Being submissive to a man is not about that at all. I'm also not encouraging women to be submissive all the time – being submissive is just another role than a woman can take up every now and then in her relationship. The reason I'm talking about being submissive is because it can bring more passion. 3 Aug When I first met Doug on sexshop-iasi.info in , we were 26 and living in Washington, D.C., both recently out of serious relationships, both working long hours at jobs we loved. He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit. On our first date, although we.
  • 10 8 Nov The submissive never knows 'exactly' what her Dom is going to do and the slight fear of the unknown can be erotic. That being said, she should always know that she is safe and won't be pushed outside her limits physically, mentally or emotionally. If this happens and she immediately wants it to stop, she. 11 Jul A submissive woman does not belong in an abusive relationship. If your relationship is abusive, the only way is out. Someone who is abusive will abuse your submissive role. A man who is simply dominant will not. Submission is about voluntary grace and being of service to a man who will protect you.

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9 Feb The word submissive is defined as: ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive. Wow, what woman wants to be described in this regard especially in the context of a relationship? I definitely don't. I don't know many who would. If I were talking about being submissive by this. 18 Jun Submissive to a man? What's your reaction to that question? Now that you've mentally answered, do you think that only one partner should be submissive in a relationship – straight or gay? Do you think that men and women should submit to each other? Submissive means being obedient, passive.

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